05 March 2016

Cooking Dumplings at 2AM After Chosen Fasting (and shit)

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So a chink is vain and shit and wants to look good and shit. But a chink don’t know science and shit. So a chink don’t eat after working out and shit.

Also a chink is into spicy food and shit. So a chink’s ma sends him dumplings and shit. A chink then fries that shit at night and shit. And as a 100% private, unknown, chink-certified, authenticity seal, real chinaman, OG Chinese food, post-post-hype, post-post-pre future, heavenly, aphrodisiac, ethereal, ambrosial tip and shit, a chink gonna tell what he does to spice it up and shit.

First, a chink heats up some spicy sesame oil and shit. But, don’t forget the olive oil and shit because sesame oil is expensive and shit. Also, in the oil and shit, a chink gotta put in some peppers and shit. Gotta let those bitches simmer and sweat and shit. Send them on some spice heaven sauna and shit. Bruh, we gotta get this bitch spicy and smoky and shit. Next tip, gotta smoke a cigarette and shit. Nah, not if you don’t wanna set off a smoke detector and shit. Or, like every OG chinks and shit knows, you just gotta take out the batteries and shit. Law is bullshit and shit.

Sorry Kenny lam lam duck duck goose, I apologize for the misappropriation (and shit)

But, a chink gotta then put them dumplings in the oil and shit. Don’t forget to keep the heat medium and shit. So, all yall just gotta remember to toast each side and shit. Until they darken on the verge of black and shit. As soon as the dumplings get slathered in the pepper-sesame-olive oil and shit, all good chinks know to gratuitously, liberally, profligately, lavishly, profusely, piously, religiously, catholically, missionarily, opiumsellingly, imperialistically—DONTCOOKTHISIFYOUSRELATEDTOAFORMERMEMBEROFTHEBRITISHEMPIRE(and shit)—scatter the dumplings with pepper flakes and shit.

Then you just gotta keep on flipping and shit. When it’s done, a chink just gotta sit down and eat it and shit.

They on some rich shit, I eat my fis—DUMPLINGS AND SHIT

Don’t forget the sauce though, bruh. You gotta first cut up the garlic though, bruh. Then you gotta chop up the CILANTRO though, bruh. Then you gotta put in your chili oil though, bruh. And you gotta throw in another spoonful though, bruh. If it’s too spicy though, bruh. Don’t eat it though, bruh!
Then you pour in your 镇江香醋and you’s set though, bruh, Chingchong.

So all you need to do next is to dip that god damn sultry ass, juicy, screaming, moaning, toasty, spicy ass dumpling in that goddamn Chinkiang sauce, Chingchong!

The symbolism of dumplings
So a chink’s ma sent him the dumplings from across the damn country. And yall better know what dumplings look like and shit. This isn’t some sort of dough pouch meat filling gnocchi, perogi type shit. Nah, FOH. They replicas of ingots back when all chinks had no money, back when this chink, poor homie wei, shaanbei chink dang, ain’t even a Han Chinese and shit. Sidenote: fuck the han. </endrant> <beinagain?>

But them dumplings and shit, they represent money though, bruh. Some real life Ching Chong money fiats and shit. Best beliedat.

When that shit come from 妈though, 我操。永远最爱的是老妈。 Damn, nothing in this bitch better than ma. Bitch, ho, pussy, tramp, slut, whatever. Those exist because most hoes don’t ever get to the level of . Having high standards for women is real life feminism. All that we some women who run around saying, I’m gonna come and fuck all yall—bruh that’s some terrorism shit. Extremism and shit, though, bruh, that shit never good.

When you transplant a chink into some English setting, those words are natural expletives. In Chinese, you’ll never hear a chink call some ho a ho. taught him not to. Shit, a chink call all his boys bitches and hoes. When all you bitches attach some meanings a chink don’t mean, though, bruh, you don’t understand the point of a chink’s language.

When a chink speaks, a chink speaks in idiomatic language. A chink has a set of terms for all situations. A chink says those words to mock all these whiteboi sensitive ass浑蛋giving these words pointless meanings. In grammar, as noted by friend of the wei, Alexander Pope, an expletive is a word used to fill out a verse line to get the syllable quota right. The brodie Pope says not to use them, but as a chink isn’t writing in some iambic pentameter ass shit rn, we break that form to make new meaning. Chinks don’t got these syllable quotas in our verse. When a chink uses expletives, a chink is shoving the power of the Yellow down your throat. When this chink using expletives like that, this chink calling a ho a bitch, because he doesn’t care about a ho. These expletives are space fillers. Those addressed are fillers of space.

A chink is speaking in his second language. You expect a chink to talk like you? Bruh, you gonna assimilate me? A chink already speak 够好的英文。反映反映! 大概比你的好多了,老二I use your language to put a chink on top.

Mama wei taught a chink to take no shit from white people.

Nobody deserves preferential treatment. Nobody deserves respect for nothing. You don’t start off a bitch. You don’t start off a woman. Wanna play some of that spectrum shit? Fine, everyone starts off as nothing. It’s a choose-your-own-adventure-game shit.

Don't gotta be Mother's day or your birthday,
For me to say, Hey Mama
Man, what breaks a chink’s heart is when these white hoes fucking trying to lynch friend of the wei, mr. Kanye Omarion West. He gave us “hey mama.” That chink made this chink love his chink ma more than a chink thought was possible for a chink. And these white hoes trying to fuck with Mari?

Sent us and angel and I thank you, hey mama
I wanna scream so loud for you, cause I’m so proud of you

                                                   I know I act the fool

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