04 March 2016

On Tasting the Flavors Labelled on Coffee


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On the trip with friend of the wei, Simon, a chink bought himself a bag of coffee (free espresso included, so god damn—get god on the phone) at Noble Café. So big wei has no understanding of time and refused to wake up even when the putain de ville de montreal freaks were honking their fucking clownass goofy trucks at 7am, so I woke up at 1 instead. YEEEEEEzy Yeeeeeezy, Yeezy just jumped over proper nocturnal patterns and generally healthy sleep patterns (and productivity). THAT’S WHAT THE COFFEE’S FOR. (no money, though) (srs)

So I get up, fucking somnolence of a july afternoon, (instead a chink got actual shit to do) (not really, hmmmm) (maybe there’s a problem here) (maybe not) (is the speaker/narrator/persona/identity/exteriority/interiority a real reflection of the writer?) (who is big wei) (if big wei is really a shaanbei chink, does ‘big wei’ mean anything?) (真的是个陕北山汉,还会讲英文吗?其实,要是这个‘big wei是个真人,他就因该是《大唯》。哈哈。没有这么一个人。)hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ok so last year, I bought a liter capacity French press on amazon. Used it quite a bit, but I never went out to get real good coffee. Kind of a waste then. B/c fuck pikolo. Lol. It’s not that bad. It’s just that I don’t want to see people I know, so, yeah it’s not a great place. Coffee’s fine. #philsebastian #8/10

Ok so, I get up and bang some king Kenny lam lam bam bam duckworth [duckmoji?] [does this summon the japmagic?].
I GOT ONE HUNDRED ON MY DASH /
GOT TWO HUNDRED IN MY TRUNK
EATING SO GOOD, NO FOOD IN HERE
BREAKFASTISFORPUSSIES

So, I finally get to grinding them beans. (This build up has been an hour long.) (Imagine if it were big weirista) HA (actually, this process started last night when a chink put the required beans in the grinder and filtered the water, filled the kettle, all so the chink could have a breakfast at 9am of oatmeal, good filter coffee and head off to the gym, dead a lil, bench a lil, come home take a shower, then go to the cafe叉叉叉叉 and live a generally healthy life, meet a nice ho, probs nonchink, have some kids, die at 76 w/ sum $ in bk w/ rrsp & some props and r.est. all gooooooo—nah)

So finally to the grinding. Hol up, first gotta write some verses, all this grinding shit got me in some artsy girly mood.

Nope didn’t happen and instead I read a random chapter out of a frank o’hara monograph. #educated? Probs not—is this even intelligible, or does the author seem illiterate?—also, passive reading is for punk ass pussy pansy bitches—nobody passive reads if they got a brain or someshit—[enter some Chinese ranting] [holdat] [<chineserantcss><begin><b><i>
我们都有一个家,名字叫中国🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳 🇨🇳
</i></b></begin></chineserantcss>]

is that a poem?

Ok so finally we roasting and grinding these bitch ass beans.
Shits got a good smell wafting round the house. Deep burgundy color. Feeling hyped about this shit. Should put a gopro on for the next time this happens. Lolno, vlogs are for punk bitches who can’t write.

So I smell the usual nice coffee scent after a chink grinds some beans. Actually on a side note, lets describe the bag
Height: a dick and a half
Color: brown, parchment?
Weight: “net weight 227g”
Origin: Kenya
There’s a white sign on the bottom center in the shape of a vertical rectangle:
Washed Peaberry
Green Quinces / Pomegranate / Royal Jelly

Alright, so I do the French press shit and we put that ish in and I squirt out some of the coffee pulp. Ahhhh sheeet.
Alright, now we drinking.

Hmmmm
Not bad. So for the quinces, I guess I can taste the acidity and sweetness. Defs got me feeling a bit green. Nice earthy vibes and shit. GODDAMN CHINK. Blends right into the sweet grainy, pulpy pomegranate flavaflav clockclockclockclock ondaneck (buy a chink a neck clock!!!!! Plzplzplzplz)

BAM that royal jelly shit just hits and shit all comes together. Smooth as fuck texture. All coffee should have that bitter honey, royal jelly flavor. Damn bruh.

All other coffee can fuck off. Shit, I don’t know if I can go to a café today after drinking this shit first thang in the morning (mid-to-late afternoon).

Lessons?
Two tears in a bucket I cry with you

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