04 March 2016

Sandwiches, French People, Chinks, Women


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sand? which? table? hmmmmm
So a chink can speak decent to above average to fluent, neutral French. And a chink enjoys him some coffee, often times following the gym or just waking up. Most times, a chink likes some food avec son café. Alors, a chink can practice his French when he goes to commande sa bouffe et café. Usually, the bouffe is a sandwich or a soup because it’s a healthy choice, probablement. Des fois, a chink orders himself une salade.

Recently, head chink wei found himself a nice little café—disons, unnamed (for now)—on zotique. It’s a very pleasant place furnished about the way you’d expect of an MTL thirdwave—the usual industrial and wooden drafting chairs, faded-paint wooden tables hoisted by a rolling rack, jukebox, comfortable picnic tables, shelf tables affixed to the windows, kitschy red, polka-dotted mugs, and many confectionnary jars. They serve local Kittel beans and they serve good local food, starring confit du canard sandwich. (Obvs that no whiteman duck will ever supplant some good old 武汉鸭脖, but shit’s still hen hao.) Average age probably 26ish. Prices solid—credit card and interac accepting. Generally, 8/10 with good anonymity and cozy ambiance.

The anonymity, for a chink, comes from the fact that everyone in the café is a white, French speaker. Nothing wrong with that—no one expects too much diversity around zotique. Colored people generally have no purpose in a place like that. A bit too artsy, a bit too hip, a bit too out of the way from functionality.

Today, a chink wanders in around 5ish and lines up behind a gaggle of age 30ish québecoises. Again, nothing unusual. So they ask the waitress for some bouffe. And the waitress says, with an overstated whisper that they stop serving sandwiches around 5, but an exception could be made. The 30ish women then make overt professions of love to the lady making the food. Mademoiselle, t’es toute comme une fleure magnifique. Merci bien à toi! T’es l’amour incarné! A chink can’t help but chuckle [a detriment to the no emotions boss ass chink a chink usually puts forwards]. So the counter stands about a foot away from the table, so a chink is squished between these women, the counter, and the table. Naturally, being pas sourde, a chink chuckled because he overheard.    

When these women finished, a chink goes up to the register and asks, in decent to above average to fluent, neutral French, if there are still sandwiches since a chink starving. And the waitress says nope and zips up her mouth, lipstick receded. Shit bruh. A chink just heard like thirty seconds ago that there were still sandwiches. Of course, they can choose to serve whoever they want what they want, especially if it’s after service hours. But the entire mood of the waitress shifted. Also of note (without interpretation from a chink), every woman that a chink has seen at Unnamed dresses like Rosie the Riveter: hair bunned with a bandana, sleeves rolled up, often with a jean jacket. It’s a very good look. But then a chink thinks, shit, no one else in here right now is either not a woman or not white. A chink then sits down after ordering a filter coffee and some madeleines.

A chink can’t help but think, right?

So a chink sits down with his madeleines and waits for the coffee and reads. Nothing exceptional, not taking up nobody’s space. Just a chink in a strange land reading a book.

Next person that enters, a well dressed woman, late twenties, blonde hair, Quebecoise. She orders a coffee and the waitress erupts in laughter. Okay.

A chink just keeps reading. Decent bit of reading caught up on actually.

intermittent laughing / giggling
ME? I’M BOUT TO LET MY HAIR DOWN ON—

Clock hits 6:45 and they about to close, so a chink goes up to the counter to régler la compte. There’s a line, hmmmm parallelism.

First lady goes and she gets a nice laugh and a big smile. Lipstick jungle shit.

Then after two more, a chink gets to the counter. Waitress takes a second to compose herself and asks what a chink got. I pay and I say bonsoir and she says bonne soirée.


Best not to quarrel and drink some coffee.

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